• Cerbere


To follow the saga of random questions to random people, The question of aptitudes to suceed has been quite recurrent. As a reflection, i did try to answer this question with the most exemple possible according to my life and experiences.

As everything never happened as we desired, this is only based on me and my stories.

For a long time, I was not very successful in life. I am intelligent. I have skills. I worked incredibly hard. Yet I got nowhere, until a cousin said to me, one day, “You don’t get what you need because you don’t ask for anything. The worst thing that can happen if you ask for help or opportunities is that you’ll be refused, and then you are no worse off than if you didn’t ask. Imagine if you asked for something and the answer was ‘yes’! Maybe you could try asking for a better job, a promotion, a loan to invest in something, a good reference…? Try it!”

I did, and suddenly my world changed. I realised, years later, that I had struggled because I had been put down so often that I didn’t believe I deserved success, so I didn’t ask for help to attain it. I had been conditioned to distrust those who offered a helping hand or to open a door - to think they had evil motives - so I didn’t accept their offers. There are lots of ingredients contributing to success in life. Of course, the effort you put in is a major determinant, but the hardest workers often don’t succeed. It takes far more than just effort.

People born into successful families often succeed because they are shown how to succeed from an early age. They are guided to invest effort in the right areas. They are taught how to relate to people of influence. They are introduced to people who can open doors for them. They are taught to believe in themselves and the opportunities the world offers them. They learn to ASK for what they need.

People with influential friends or mentors may enjoy the same advantages as those born into successful families.

Perhaps the most significant factor driving success in life is self-belief. If you believe you lack ability, or opportunties presented are never genuine… if you lack the ability to trust yourself, other people and the system, then no amount of hard work is likely to result in success.

Trust is vital because to succeed, you have to ask for things. You have to not be afraid of rejection. You have to believe in the opportunities the world offers. You have to be willing to take risks, and that requires belief in yourself and the support systems available to help you recover if you sometimes fail.

Environment is a major factor contributing to success, for two reasons. First, some environments offer more opportunities. People who move in environments filled with people of influence have more opportunities. People who move among people who are confident and willing to teach and guide and encourage others have more opportunities. People who move in environments where capital is easy to access have more opportunities. People born into affluent environments have more opportunities. It’s much harder to succeed when you are struggling to keep a roof over your head and food on your table. When your energies are consumed with providing basics and there is neither energy nor money to invest in progress, working hard achieves little other than to leave you exhausted and feeling things are hopeless.

The second reason environment is a major factor is that environment contributes substantially to building self-belief and trust. It has been evidenced through research that people who grow up very poor, abused or unloved tend to be less successful because they are less likely to develop self-belief and the ability to trust. They may be very skilled and intelligent. They may work incredibly hard. They may be honest and ethical and get along well with others, but if they cannot believe in themselves and trust the opportunities presented, success will elude them.

Please don’t insult these battlers by pretending success is attained simply by working hard. Hard workers often don’t succeed despite their efforts, and they need respect, understanding, and recognition of their endeavours to lift them up in the world.

And you how do you think it can takes for you to succeed ?

Written Lorraine Cobcroft, Author at Rainbow Works

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